Talking about religion has always been a very uncomfortable topic for me. I’m not really sure why. Maybe it had to do with suppressing my beliefs while attending a Catholic and Episcopalianschool during my years of grade schooling. I don’t know. But what I do know, is that with the people and friends who surround me now, I am so lucky to finally be open about my beliefs- who are receptive to what I believe in, and I in theirs.Let’s just say that tonight was an emotionally charged night.
But my favorite topic of the night was about Heaven. When I think of Heaven, I don’t think of a consistent state of living happiness. I see flashes of pictures, or pure white. Contentment. But contentment in a form of stillness. Apparently, Heaven is a place where all your wishes come true (according to the Qu’ran). Rivers flow, everything is clean and shiny. Anything you want, its there. “When I think of Heaven, I think its disgusting.” What? I cocked my head to the side, with a look of profound confusion. Heaven? Of all adjectives, I never would have chosen disgusting.
"So you go to Heaven, and you want to fuck. You can fuck 1,000 people. Anyone. That is your wish. That is your Heaven. You get what you want.
You live your life here, training yourself to be a good person, and when you go to Heaven, you are a totally different person. Everything you learned and lived by is thrown out the window, because you are in your Heaven. And your wishes come true.”
That is not Heaven. Everything that is deemed socially unacceptable during your life, can now be done once you have achieved merit to Heaven’s access? That is not Heaven. No one had an answer to what Heaven really was. But I personally had a hard time understanding and applying happiness in a place that had no limits. When I pictured happiness, I imagined sitting in a large, soft field of rolling green grass hills. So would Heaven be sitting in that field for eternity, not moving, just sitting there and being content? Alone? That would be what I want, but would that satisfy me in Heaven? Do I get to stand up and explore other people’s Heavens? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll never know.
My own personal belief is not in Heaven. I believe that once you leave this world, you are judged on your life’s good and bad deeds. If you lived as a good person, you are granted another life. A life that could be full of success and ease. Or if you have wronged others in life, you are given another life that will be difficult and full of many obstacles. To overcome those obstacles, you are rewarded again once your time in that life ends. Punishment does not come in the form of Hell, but it comes in a form of punishable reincarnation.
There is no death, but a continuation of life. The universal power, where we draw life, love, and experiences from our past lives, or lives we are living now.
Without the amazing people in my life, this conversation/blog never would have exsisted. OM, is a place where I know that self improvement and the learning of oneself exsists. And I am so gratified.
I just realized that in 2 weeks, this quarter is going to be done. WHAT THE HELL?! This has been the fastest quarter of my life. It literally whizzed by. In one week, I’ll be taking my math FINAL, and three days after that, I’ll be done with my Anthro final.. THAN WINTER BREAK!! AHHHHH!! EXCITMENT! HOLY STARS!
IM SO EXCITED FOR MONDAY! OKGO videoshoot!! I’m going to go back to Pasadena with some Irvine peeps and the dress code: something casual and hip like you’re going to Coachella. AHHHHHH!! SO COOL! I hope the camera pans on me, and I’m so glad that I’m friends with Sophia Kiapos. LOL! Sun Valley, here we comeee!!
I would link the event page, but my roommate changed my fb password yet AGAIN.
Definately looking forward to this friday too. FOUR LOKOS IS GONNA BE COMING OUTTTT!! BLACK OUTS WITH JENK, HERE WE COMEEEEE!
deep breaths. in and out. I can do this. Math is one of the single things I consider evil that takes over my mind and causes great stress and deadly thoughts. I would say that it’ll be over tomorrow, but that would be a lie, because there is always the possibility that I won’t pass math and will have to retake it. And on top of that, I would have to finish the series and do econ math. WAHHHHH. I wish taking stats was a option for me.
who needs adderall when theres 5 hour energy drink?
This shit works. I’m incredibly hyper sensitive to caffeine, so lets just say that one sip of 5 hour energy drink does more than its job. And also tasted like a very concentrated version of Redbull. Shout out to Meg.
It’s going to be a long day tomorrow. Let’s hope I don’t fall asleep in REACH, and I make it to lecture on time.
Plan: stay up til 9(?) until T comes by to pick up S’s keys, and give him 2 Toy Story packets of pre-cut apples so they can enjoy them in class. A nutritious and delicious morning snack. I’m going to eat some now.