I have this look. It is the worst look I can make. Its annoying, its irritating, its rude, and its just down right hateable. Ask my family, its been around for 20 years and it still stirs angry emotions left and right.
On Monday, I gave the look to A. Not only did I give him the look, I gave him a long look. I can see on his face while I was giving him The Look, his thought process. It was full of confusion and wtf-is-going-on.
I asked H if my look was that bad. Pretty much yes, it is. She said that The Look makes her not want to talk to me. The Look never really surfaces unless the situation calls for it. I was really pissed that Monday night and it just transfered to him because he was on panal that failed me.
A. I AM SO SORRY I GAVE YOU THE LOOK. YOU DIDN’T DESERVE IT. You’re 2/3 of the reason why I’m going through this pledgeship!! WAHHHH! (Can I sound anymore of a annoying teenager? Yes. Yes, I can.)
Last night, my brother texted me to tell me that my lifelong crush is now single. He’s my brothers friend and he is a combination of BABY FACE and HOT BOD. Can you say ZOMG? BG told me that DTa said that he only wants to date younger girls now… Well, what a coincidence because I’m way younger!! Excitment!!
So… as the typical Monique, DTa was in my dream. I dreamed that he was unaccessable. The he came from Canadian roots (and was in a Candian Frat, I have no idea where this ties in), and his two older brothers were borm from elite Japanese background. Sigh. Well, we shall see if The Monique shall conquer!! Heehee.
I had a little plan in the back of my mind to indirectly see/test whether or not I will dp from SPL.
This weekend is my Mother’s birthday along with 2 of my Aunts. This year, my family will be hosting the event, so as the onyl daughter and an upstanding example of the Nguyen Household, I have to be there. I must act the part of the perfect daughter and perform daughterly duties. I had told SPL that I was not able to make it to the May 1st event. They advised me to try out another quarter if I wa not able to make it to any of the dates. I was pulled aside, and told that I would be able to make it to the dinner portion. I decided to deal with it later. Well, later is now. I had told the actives, and through deliberation, they are allowing me to miss the 2nd half of the Saturday event so that I can go home. I guess I’m still in! Lol.
Funny moment. C sent me a link of Marvin Gay’s Lets Get it On. I died. So funny. I felt so…wanted. LOL, then we proceeded to make emotions back and forth. Fun times. ANOTHER awkward moment. A came over to tonight to grab a book from me and I was wearing the THINNEST shirt possble. I mean, come one, I was getting ready for bed! But as JennK would say, I was “free-boobing” and it was so awks. I felt kinda bad because I kicked him out at a very rude pace. But. To make myself feel better, I did say I felt uncomfortable and he seemed to understand. So. Yeah. LOL
1:25 am. H runs in, wakes me up from my deep slumber. “A and I just kissed!!!!”
The complete IRONY of the whole situation because just earlier that day I made H promise to tell me when her first kiss happens. So perfect, so natural, so real. I love how they, in his car on her terms, had a moment of complete, genuine like. Jokes were cracked, honesty voiced. When H came to me and plopped herself on my bed, I was happy. I was giddy. I had felt as though I were the one who just got that kiss.
H and I really did go through alot together. We are sisters. We tell each other everything and the love is unconditional. So this is how it feels like. Warm and fuzzys. The best part is that the past couple of weeks, I have been H’s scribe. She dictates for me what to write in her journal (since she is currently crippled with her borken arm) and I feel as though that is the most personal, intimate, and trusting job anyone has ever given me. Of course I drew hearts all over the page and a little pictogram of how the events occured, and she rolled her eyes at me. But last night was definately worth missing my 8AM class out of pure exhaustion.
I am not going to lie. I have whimsicle thoughts floating in the back of my head. Why can’t I have that giddy feeling? Where is my nice boy? Haha. Well, now its H’s turn for random grins and happiness. Mmm. Happiness is so contagious. :)
So much for stepping up. If you can do nothing but complain about the content of my speech, but applaud my composure, presence, introduction, quote, eye contact, and pacing- yet you STILL fail me, and make me re-do my speech?? Not only do I have to write a new speech, it has to have a new topic, new subject, new EVERYTHING. You can shove it up your a-hole BK. You backstabbed your own Vanderbilt! RAWRRR
I skipped class to practice this speech! Was it worth it? No. Only you felt like I didnt’ deserve to pass. The rest of the panal liked me fine. I ABHOR IT WHEN THIS ANGRY SIDE OF ME COMES OUT. RAWRRR
Tomorrow night, I shall have to deliver a speaking resume in front of all the active class. My posture, context, answer, and presence will be taken into account. I have less than 24 hours to prepare. Goodness gracious, I need all the luck I can get.
Happy happy happy. I’m pretty content with happiness right now, with my life unfolding, with how things are falling into place. I always ran away from the idea of being so busy. Of having no leisure time. But I have found that I benefit from it. I am learning and embracing time management. (But I’m also bummed by how much time I’m missing out on fun at The Palace and people I have less time for). I’m able to squeeze friends here and this weekend, and I love it. It’s so great. My Big Bro just came into study hours and brought me a Passion Fruit drink and popcorn chicken! It was so sweet, because he said that I knew I couldn’t have tea, so he got me a sweet drink instead! Awwww, I really do love being pampered, kekekeke.
This week is a week that is chill- I just got interrupted. My PDaddy just came in. I’m supposed to interview actives, and I only have 8 of the 10 needed. Ughhh. I hate not knowing what the consequences are. I tried my best, I really did! Just no one responded to me.
But anyways, back to the signings. I only have 8. WAHHHH. GOOD MOOD KILLED. RAWR
I was hazed this morning! Haha, it’s fine though because I walked away with a care package and a Big Bro today.
Side note: some efftard is blasting his stupid rock music and it’s giving me a headache.
I have been so busy lately. It really is mindblowing. I miss all my friends, but loving all the new people I’m getting to know. Today was a pretty fabulous day! There a scavenger hunt invovled, there was a picnic with Big/Little games, and a night at the Observatory with K. It was all really fun, and full of smiles. I think it is a combination of being done with midterms and it finally being the weekend, and knowing that I can “relax” (I put quotations becuase techincally I have a VERY busy schdule every weekend from now on). I was so nice to finally be able to hang out with K all to myself. I told him all about my pledging, and all the ridiculous things I had to do and vice versa. I’ve missed him alot. When I’m stressed, I’m no fun. But when I’m relaxed, rested up, and had a day full of exercise, I’m happy.But now I’m exhausted. And off to bed I go! Goodnight!
But before I go. I’ll end on this note: Want to hear a long joke? Joooooooooooooooke
Hypothetically there are people in your life. You’re friends with them, but sometimes, you just don’t want them to be part of your life anymore. Is it because I’m bored? Is it because I found something new to take up all my time? They try to hit me up, but I never respond to them out of sheer annoyance at thier persistence. I don’t want to be around thier particular aura; pick and choose. I’ve done this before with no looking back.
A friend of mine goes to Brown and she has a chemistry class with Emma Watson. She said one day Emma answered a question correctly and someone in the back shouted, "TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!" She wasn't happy.
I just realized that I may not be the best listener on the phone. Not unless I am in the mindset, and had put aside a time a time slot dedicated to talk.
Haha, just talked to Jennk. 420 is tomorrow! I keep on forgetting. Its not something that I remember because I remember that in high school, we would always have a swim meet on 420 so none of the girls were ever able to smoke. I have chances now, but eh. I things to do, things to study.
I can’t seem to collect all my thoughts. Its all in a jumble. I hope I didn’t get a ticket parking in the parkign structure. My dad bought a new Lexus today. Up next, my brother and mother. Where mines? Pssh, yeah right. I don’t like my pledge class, but I love the actives. They’re so cool, and really really cute. But people don’t see me in that frat. But I would reap benefits. I hope I get the position at the Career Center, even thought my resume looked like a hott mess. I really want to go to Disneyland, but I’m blocked every friday for the rest of life, and I Have to study all this week. I have to complete my tasks, but I have to study for my midterms. I don’t want to get yelled at. I hate getting yelled at. I don’t want to get fined, but I want to go out to lunch with A on Friday. Should I pick Boudins? Or the 4 star sushi resturant in Costa Mesa? I only have one more day and the rest of this evening to study for Bio, then I have half a day for Econ? This isn’t right. I have a whole block of time scratched out becuase of meeting tomorrow. This isn’t right. I can’t do this. Doing something is not being productive. Boys are stupid. They twist my heart up. They make me believe in love. They take up brain space. I really need to study.
are the only nights free for the rest of my life. Oh my god. This is ridiculous. I am not keen on this. I am so lazy. This is not good. Study hours on Sunday, meeting on Mondays, another meeting on Tuesday, and study hours again on Weds and more stuff every Saturday and Sunday. Ohhhhh my goodness. This is going to be death. I can’t do this. I can’t afford all this.
A combination of last night and this morning has been so stressful for me. I stayed out late last night knowing that I would have an 8AM the very next morning. I was running only on 4 hours of sleep practically falling asleep in Econ 20B.
Anyhow, after coming back from my 8AM class, I came back and had a little catch up session with H. It felt as though it has been forever since we’ve been updated with each others thoughts. Being busy with SPL and stressing out over everything is not good for me (back to that later). But this morning I got an email from Humanities and it was regarding Academic Standing. But to make a long story short, they told me that I am being dropped by the School of Humanities because I have not been keeping up with the quota of taking one AsAm class a quarter. And if I don’t have verification of a switch of major by September 15, 2010 I will be dropped from the School of Humanties and the University of California, Irvine. But TA-DA! I went to M at the SocSci Office and everything got worked out! I definately was not able to switch over to Econ because I was not even close to completing the prereqs. But M told me that I could, for the time being, switch over to another major and from there I can still work on my Econ major and not have to worry about being dropped. It was amazing.
It was a really good day today.
But back to the SPL topic. I can’t seem to decide whether or not I should continue. I technically have a one more whole day to decide
(9 hours later…)
I’m staying, and I’m going to commit. Today I applied what I have learned from this whole process in my Peer Consultant interview today. Fingers Crossed!!
“you always gotta put your life in perspective and realize that it is what it is and that there are millions of people out there that got it worse than you. people that would kill to have the life that you have.”—Kenneth Mitsuo Shiozaki-Kawamoto
Turns out H & C planned a suprise dinner for me tonight, and I went out for dinner with my family instead. I had planned dinner on Tuesday, but to be honest, I would have rather a suprise dinner! I’ve never been sucessfully suprised before! Haha, oh well. My parents and brother did have to turn down a couple of clients to make time to come down to Irvine and celebrate with me <3
Yes. I did wake up at 6:30 am on a Saturday morning. This is not any normal Saturday either. This is the Saturday before my birthday. The day of my very first party.
I’m sitting here and full of comphrehension. I almost logged onto Facebook and cancelled my event. I am so nervous. What if nobody comes? What if we run out of alcohol? What if nobody has fun? What if I get in trouble? And worst of all, what if the gender balance is not… balanced??
I have an interview at 9 am today. And I am expected to be 15 mins early. This sucks becuase the shuttles don’t run on weekends, and turns out that D & A are here for the MS walk! I really want to go on campus right now and hang out with them! To see them! It would be such a treat to see them! Haha, ever since the little drama between our groups, I haven’t really gotten to see them that often! (This is the reason why I hate when one person from another group dates another groups… it makes things awkward when they don’t work out.) Anyhow, let’s hope K is down to swing by the walk.
I’m a little early. Which is kinda of nice, but as of now I wish I was not early. Sitting around and waiting to leave always makes me antsey. And thus I use up all my nervous energy and SUCK at social interaction. Bah.
I feel like I have more to talk about, but hrm. I can’t seem to think of anything except for my anxiety for tonight. I hope it’s a night of sucess. Haha, I wish someone else threw my party. That way I wouldn’t have to worry about clean up and the omnious cloud of a unsucessful party. Bah. I need more sleep. I am exhausted. Late night talking is not good for my sleep cycle.
I had a really good day today. I started tweeting again, and I like it alot. All I have to do next is figure out how to login via computer. I ran into P and had a very nice lunch. My newest obsession is the Taco Salad from the Pheonix Grill. Nomnom.
I had classes back to back, and was a rebel and skipped my 6 o’clock class. Heehee. It was worth it because C and I went on a mission to Dick’s… but that failed. They didn’t have my suit in stock.
BUT, we did run across some very effective advertisments. At the light on Jamboree, a huge bus drove by tantalizing us with the $1 Sweet Tea from Micky D’s. LO AND BEHOLD! There was one right to our left… its safe to say we had a little detour. Haha.
I came back expecting to go to Disneyland with S only yo find out that.. we’re blocked for the rest of the week. This is ridiculous. I am OUTRAGED. I was sooo excited, and had my mind set on going. Wah. But it’s okay. I went to the gym with S instead.
Something that I’ve come to realize is that the Arc is a place of unintentional social interaction. I ran into ADam, and JennK. So fun to see them. Haha, JennK made me run with her along the track only to watch and tell her if her boobs were “really bouncy”. HAHAHAHHAHA. Omg. I die.
And I came home to my browines and dinner cooked (homemade beef burritos) and GREAT company. It’s so nice to have us all together and eating again. Another highlight of my day, B came out to me and S today. I felt so honored that he told us. I felt like I breached the Irvine-friends-since-high-school barrier.
I just watched a clip on the Disneyland Group. I am SO exicted for the World of Color water show!!! AHHH!! 50 feet of water propulsion?? 1 acre of lasers and fire?? 30 foot wide water screen?? SIGN ME UP!! I AM SO EXICTED!!
I had a fabulous and MOST eventful day ever. I woke up pretty early, having unexpectedly sleeping at home, and had a slow and music filled day with BG. That’s when a series of unforunate events happened because of Easter. My mother had called and asked BG and I to pick up two boxes of paper for the office. Staples was closed. So was Best Buy.
On my to-do list of the day was to buy a swim suit for lap swimming. Dad gave me money, and I was so ready to buy my Nike cut-out suit… TOO BAD DICK’S (formerly known as Chick’s) WAS CLOSED. So sad.
So off to Chinatown we went.
Pretty uneventful, until BG and I were sent on another mission to have another go at buying paper. After a sucessful trip to Office Depot, BG took me to Yogurtland and bought me a beef Kogi taco from the Calgi Truck (yes, confusing I know. Turns out it was a kncok off of Kogi), and I chilled at the office for a little bit.
As soon as I got back, EARTHQUAKE (Was that an earthquake? Or did I just rock your world??). I was all alone, in the bathroom, scared out of my MIND. But luckily S came home, only once the tremors were done, and we caught up with ALOT of things that went on over the weekend. The great thing about my life is that I all of a sudden of these insane urges to go to the gym. I have been going alot to swim. One of my lifes greatests pleasures. I swim laps, I sprint, I feel the water slide against my skin. It’s so wonderful. The walk to the gym with friends are always the best part too. But today was even better.
I was so driven to go to the gym, i left home hours earlier than I normally do to make the hours today! I put on my suit and parted ways with The Palace. It felt so good to jump in the water. And amazingly enough, I still got tan swimming at 4:30 pm! As soon as I walked out of the locker room, I ran into A.
"Hey. Wanna play pingpong?"
I saw the challange in his eyes. How was I not supposed to take up that challange?? I regret it now, because I knew i was exhausted and I wasn’t in my A game after the sprints, but Hey. I had nothing else planned, so I said yes.
But it was so fun because N was there too, and he stood up to me against A’s smack talk. I’m going to have to get used to his humor. It’s so SARCASTIC. But it like it. Haha.
As soon as I got back I went on another epic journey! P and I went all the way to the Spectrum to eat Chipotle.. and it was closed. So we drove all the way back to In-n-Out at utc.. and it was closed too. I was about to shoot someone. NOT FAIR. Those were the only two places I wanted to eat, and those where the two places that P assured me were open. Sigh. But it’s okay. We ate at LeDip, and had some YogurtLand with it. Along with jokes of TrueBlood, after seeing some MAD hickeys all over this freshman girls neck. They were some crazy hickeys.
Then we came back, and P and I played 5 rounds of Pingpong. It was so much fun because we’re about the same level and the rallies kept going on! Best out of 3… I lost again. LOL.
After having all the endorphins pumping through my body, I decided to socially interact with people online. Thats when I got the best invitation ever. I watched Good Hair the movie by Chris Rock with T, JennK, and C and it was so funny! Really interesting too! It was a whole different world. A world that I am not exposed to by any association.
All in all. I am really happy. Good day today. I did alot, and this blog is really long. Haha, oh well. No revelations, but just a reminder for me to go back and read this and go, Huh! I remember that day! and smile to myself.