I guess I had the case of the word vomits today. I wasn’t censoring myself at all, and now that I have some alone time to myself, I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable.
I feel uncomfortable with the fact that I was allowing myself just free reign of my thoughts, and did not care about the repercussions at all. Of course I apologized as soon as I was told that I was being mean. I was forgiven, but I regret being sassy. I think that even though I feel that I am comfortable enough with who I was with, it does not change the fact that I think I am allowed to say say biting words.
Everyone is allowed their grumpy days, and I am no exception. I just wish that I was never grumpy and could always maintain a consistent happy and demure mood.
I apologize to those who have witnessed such moods.
That last Spring quarter, I sat next to this guy every test we had because of assigned seating. I would start small talk with him, asking if he felt like he was prepared etc, and after the final, the added me on facebook.
His message went something like, I hope you don’t think that its weird that I added you, but I saw your name on your scantron.
I mean, I can respect him for his honesty and it takes guts to do that.Haha, but I do remember thinking that he seemed like one of those lonely guys who needed friends, and I felt like I was doing a good deed on accepting his friend request. Does this show the importance of social media? That something as impersonal as adding a virtual stranger still can mean a lot to someone else?
I had a very interesting bbm conversation with S, and let me tell you. If you want to be respected, you have to act and say thins accordingly. Language used is very important. If you’re trying to get a point across by saying “fuck” as an adjective, then I’m sorry, that is where you made a mistake.
Long rant cut down to vagueness for the sake of tumblr, when trying to figure out a situation, think rationally and act only until after you had thought out your motives.
Why is that I always act the friend? How come a guy invites me to eat with him, gets along SUPER well with my roommates, and takes me to the movies, and I freeze at the very end. As soon as someone turns all flirty or conventional ‘friend-zone’ boundaries are crossed, I get all weird? At the rate I’m going at, I’ll be alone forever -__-
Ha! What if it wasn’t anything either?? What if I just made that all up in my head and me ARE friends? See.. my girly brain is going haywire right now.
And there is nothing I can about it except torture my roommate with my sporadic outbursts.
We were in the same group all during high school, and lost touch once we all went off to college. He is now engaged to D’s COUSIN, who is OLDER, and I probably won’t be invited to their wedding because I have never met her!
They are the first in from our year to get engaged. They live together. They are going to get married. This is surreal. I can’t believe this at all.